Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"Who am I"

This is a question,which,I suppose keeps plaguing those who seek answers to so many questions,those who are curious about life,destiny,religion,spirituality.One wonders about the difference between existing(as so many of us are doing) and "living" a fruitful life.
I now realize that life is a constant battle,(brought out so beautifully by Swami Yoganand Paramhans)right from the time I came into my mother’s womb.Before coming into that protective environment,I had to fight with other yet- to- be- born beings, based on their and my past karmas and desires.Once inside,it was again a battle for survival in that dark,closed atmosphere,where,of course,I was looked after by my mother as she took care of me by literally sharing her blood with me…..and that took care of all my body functions.I kept tossing and turning inside as past memories kept troubling me(and her as well since my movements caused pain to her too).Just before being born,I again had to survive the shock of this new environment and if I had not cried,I probably would never have seen the light of day!
The battle continued all along,through my early childhood to my adolescence,then to adult hood followed by middle age and now my late fifties.As an infant I was born very pure,knowing nothing about malice,jealousy,hatred,anger,stress,wickedness,worry and my predominant emotion was only love as I was born in the ‘image of God”.The warmth of my mother’s lap was all there was to it.Slowly but surely,this world attempted to teach me lots of “new” things,and I started developing new emotions of fear,jealousy ,anger,cunning,discontent,ego,insecurity etc,which probably had been lying dormant inside me(as my bad “samskars”from my previous births),along with so many other negative emotions which this world helped surface.I gradually started becoming”smart”in the eyes of this world,which wanted me to learn to cheat,hurt my fellow beings and to cause pain to others.I was told to care only about myself since another human being was just a competitor or someone who should be used to my advantage.I was encouraged to develop feelings of like, dislike,hatred etc.,to seek pleasure in gossip and by making fun of others,to accumulate money by fair or foul means since(I was told)having more money and material objects ensured happiness and success!
I now realize that the real “me’is calm and unruffled like a placid sea since a material gain or loss is viewed as an up or down of life which is part and parcel of the duality of the world we live in.I came into this world with nothing material and will leave with nothing in hand except myself.
Since I was born “in the image of God’,I now know that everyone who comes here has the same image,then where is the difference between me and other fellow beings?The real “me” does not belong to any religion,caste or creed but only to Him as I have Him inside me. If God allowed me to go back in time and to “see”our previous incarnations(as many of us do) I would see that at different times in different lives I may have been born in different faiths. I am a simple little being,wanting to be as humble as possible as I now know that I am not the doer but just an instrument in His divine scheme of things,here to carry out His bidding with kindness,compassion,love and affection with no expectations. Ego is the barrier between the little me and Him.

“I”am a source of radiant energy,full of love for my fellow beings,I desire nothing but love for all.My thoughts make up the Universe as I understand that “thought is matter”.The real”me”cannot hurt another being as it sees Him in every being.It communicates and transmits to other”beings”through intuition where language is not a barrier.”I”am a “spiritual”being who has incarnated in this world to have a “physical”experience and am evolving,meeting more and more evolved ‘spiritual”beings who act as catalysts and help in my progress towards my ultimate goal…..that of going back to Him again,ever spotless,ever pure! I crave and seek that divine union.


Shikha Ahuja said...

So very true....
But can one be happy just being pure at heart as in the mother's womb? Does innocence really pays?

Vijay Mohan Kohli said...

Dear Shikhaji,
When one is in one's mother's womb, one is still troubled with one's past life recollections, even though one is pure hearted.The child in the womb is not yet wise enough to understand that the hurts of earlier births are of no significance in the present one.
It is a good thing to be innocent, but this innocence should be combined with wisdom.Once that happens, then you are enlightened.If this is not so then an innocent person is susceptible to bad influences, but when wisdom is combined with it, then negative influences will not affect you.
Now coming to the question of whether innocence "pays" in the long run or not.What exactly do we mean by the word "pay"?One who is both innocent and wise will not care for the result of his or her actions, since he or she does everything as a part of his or her 'dharma', ie doing not for the self but for Him. if you do every thing for Him, you are just giving back what you got, so the the question of being "paid" does not arise. The mere act of doing something for God itself is a source of tremendous happiness. If you recognise that God resides in every being then doing anything for any being sincerely is like doing it for the Almighty.
If you are thinking of being paid for an action then it is a materialistic thought based on your sense satisfaction. So also if you feel that innocence should be paid in terms of material happiness, you are still grounded in sense satisfaction, but you have to rise above all this and use your senses only for the good of every one and everything around you.This will happen only when you meditate after being initiated so that gradually material things have less and less significance for you and happiness starts becoming a reality.Once that happens you are being adequately "paid'!

Shikha Ahuja said...

Dr. Kohli,
Thanks for all the good thoughts put together!!
The phrase "doing everything for HIM" is actually satisfying. It is one thought which once imbibed within can change one's sight towards the motive of life.

As per your explaination to my first question, I understand that deeds of your ealier births effects your present. If my understanding is true please explain the entire circle of karmas and how about the karmas of the soul which gets the life for the first time? Also, since one needs to travel a complete circle of 8400000 births then on what basis the respective soul gets life for the first time?


Vijay Mohan Kohli said...

Dear Shikhaji,

Thank you.Your question is very valid as well as thought provoking.
Let us start with your second question first. The very first soul had divinely qualities, but subsequently, based on his/her karmas (which occurred because of sense enjoyments....senses are meant to do everything for the good of the soul, in other words, for God))rebirths took place.The realm(yoni)in which the birth took place was based on the type of karmas performed.
When one incurs bad karma, one goes to a realm where the result of the karma has to be experienced.For example, if one has broken someone's leg in a life time, then the same thing happens to you repeatedly(I am quoting our Swamiji on this)and one suffers in unimaginable ways.One, perforce has to experience what one has wrought on others.This will carry on till that karma has been paid off. Again, depending on the type of karma performed, a rebirth will take place in a particular yoni and the cycle has to be continued, till the entire bad karma has been paid off.
At this point it is very relevant to understand that this cycle can be broken in one of the yonis,when one somehow gets blessed by a fully realized guru, after which, one gets a human birth, which, as we know is the highest birth as it gives one a chance to get connected to the divine.
It has also been seen that once one gets a human birth, then one keeps getting chances repeatedly in the form of human births, to evolve and improve(even if one keeps incurring not so good karmas)

Vijay Mohan Kohli said...

Further, we must understand that,one gets a human birth in order to get connected with the divine, which is possible only as a human.One cannot wash off one's karmas in wherever one is after physical death as this happens only by (bhog) ie suffering/experiencing them, and for this a birth has got to take place.
If one repeatedly does evil deeds in repeated human births, then one has to complete the 8400000 cycle and God only knows when one will get another human birth!Let us make the best of this human birth which has been gifted to us!